Bad Blueprints
by NecromancerEliza
Summary: Elsa discovers the truth behind smut-fics that are based on her life. Together, Elsa and Anna destroy the badly written and plot-hole ridden "Harlot Anna", a sexually insatiable Anna imposter that has been created by hormonal teenage writers.
1. Chapter 1

Elsa, Queen of Arendelle opened her eyes to a crisp sunrise peeking through her window.  
She turned toward the light, feeling calm and rejuvenated, as sunbeams struck the wall behind her.  
Elsa sat up slowly, stretching her arms forward, relishing the feeling of tranquility she had awoken with.  
Pulling the blanket back, she delicately placed her feet on the floor, petite ice slippers crystalizing immediately. She gracefully walked to the door of her room, as she pulled on an ice blue robe.

 _Today seems so different..!_ She thought, as she hesitated by the door. Something was holding her back.. but what?  
Elsa stared at the door, her blue eyes searching for an answer. There wasn't one. Her mood quickly began to lean toward anxious, and she wondered if there had been some forgotten arrangement that was to occur today.  
Strangely, Elsa could find no cause for anxiety. She placed her chilled hand on the knob, turned it, and peeked out into the hall. Silence. Carefully, Elsa stepped out into the open hallway, shutting the door behind her with a thunderous bang. Nearly jumping out of her skin and collapsing to the floor, Elsa clutched the wall for support, looked around, and tried to normalize her heartrate and regain control of her breath. The wall behind her shaking body was immediately slick with ice, and she peeled herself away, feeling her legs slowly return to normal.

 _Okay, this is NOT normal.. Something is definitely amiss, and where is everyone..?!_ The Queen's thoughts slowly began spiraling into panic, and she quickly but quietly ran down the hall. Arriving at the large doors that led into the Dining Hall, Elsa pressed her ear against the door, a resounding and study thump vibrating through her.

 _What in the hell could be happening on the other side of this door? What's in the room?!_  
Elsa felt her heart begin to race as she made the decision to throw open the doors, and face what was inside.

Elsa stood in the doorway, frozen with horror and disbelief. No words could form in her head, as she glared upon the terrifying scene before her. Sitting at the table, completely nude, was her sister. Anna turned to her sister, only mildly shocked. "Hey, Elsa..! You surprised me!" She halfassedly made an attempt to cover herself. Elsa, finally gaining communication skills again, marched up to Anna.  
"What on Earth is wrong with you?!" She shook her head as she spoke, while Anna feigned embarassment.

"Elsa, what do you mean? I.. I just want you so much, and you're emotionally withdrawn, and how else am I going to relieve sexual tension?" Anna purred as she began to feel herself.

Elsa backed away, afraid she might catch whatever Anna had. "No, Anna. This is weird, and you are acting considerably OOC! What are you implying? And where did your morals go?"

Anna looked up at her sister, some weird form of lust capturing her gaze. "Elsa, I am hot and bothered! And not to mention wet. And at the mercy of terrible fanfic writers.. We must engage in sexual relations! I need you to fuck me! In the broom closet.  
Or bath. Or in the snow.. OW!" Elsa stood with her arm up after delivering a solid backhand to Anna's smutt-ridden face.

"You are NOT my sister. You cannot be! Anna would never be so.. so.. easily manipulated by the bi-polarity of hormone driven, angst inducing writings of a teenage girl with unhealthy obsessions! We need to cure this, before I can magically become pregnant due to some immaculent conception.."  
Elsa's voice trailed off, as she realized the severity of the situation. Anna seemed completely unaware, as she flung herself longingly into Elsa's arms. "Please, Elsa! You're the only one who can satisfy me.. I need you..!" She looked into Elsa's eyes and bit her lip.

"Aaagh!" Elsa batted her sister away, as she yanked the table cloth from the table and threw it onto the body of Anna's smutty doppelganger. "This is appalling! Cover your self up! I'm leaving to find some answers!" And with that, Elsa left the sex-obsessed Anna to her own devices. Which may or may not have been a good idea.


	2. Chapter 2

Elsa hurried through the castle, desperate to find her real sister. Not the strange one in the Dining Hall. "Anna," She called, as she opened every door. "Where are you! There's a strange girl in the Dining Hall who is your exact copy and it's bad.. very bad..!"  
Elsa looked and looked, but could not find her true sister. Perhaps copy-Anna did something to her sister. Perhaps she had assimilated with her! Or maybe taken her life! This worried Elsa, and knew she had to find Anna fast.

Anna opened her eyes, which were met with darkness. She realized quickly that she had been bound and was in a small space.

 _Okay.. let's recount what happened.. I was asleep, then there was a knock at the door... then.. there was a cloth over my face...oh! Somebody kidnapped me! Oh, yeah!It was that girl.. Who looked like me, but not me, who was extremely promiscuous! What's her game?!_

Anna realized she was in a closet, and began struggling against her restraints.

 _Maybe if I wiggle around enough someone will hear me! Maybe Elsa is safe, and can help me out!_

Elsa paused. There was a bump, and then another. She looked around, trying to decipher where it was coming from. "Oh, please," she whispered, as she approached the sound. "Please, don't be copy-Anna.." Closing in on the door, Elsa took a breath, and prepared herself. Throwing the door open, Elsa's eyes fell on Anna, who fell out onto her feet. They both kind of stood there. Or in Anna's case, laid there.

"Mmf! MmMMMF!"

"Oh, right!" Elsa knelt by her sister and removed her bindings. Anna immediately popped up, her hands in fists in front of her. "Oohh, that girl, that copycat! Elsa! She's trying to turn me into a doxie! Into a a terrible fanservice! It's almost as bad as that fiction '50 grades of flat characters'!" Anna was so upset she was trembling, her face full of determination. "Elsa, we need a plan.." Elsa nodded in agreement, a seriousness on her face. Meanwhile, in the Dining Hall...

Anna the harlot reveled in her assumed success. "Ohh, I've turned Anna into a plaything..! My fanfic writers are going to have so many reviews on their poorly written fiction! Oh, I'm so excited(pun intended)!"  
Anna the nymphomaniac then began to make sexual advances toward a certain cake, as she moaned desperately.  
"Soon," she gasped, "I'll come up with some randomly placed scene that makes no sense and only serves.."  
She paused to catch her breath as she brandished a certain piece of silverware.  
"to fill a void in the minds of readers who are lonely, single, pubescent girls.."  
The silverware was becoming quite slick.  
"that are too embarassed to talk about weird fetishes that they would.."  
Her breath caught in her throat as she took a bite of cake while pleasuring herself.  
"..never,"  
So close.  
"ever,"  
Almost there.  
"EVER..!"  
Aaannnd...  
"Partake in...!"  
Trampy Anna's climax left the cake, the silverware, and the chair a gross and unneccesary mess.  
With all of the disturbances in this scene, she knew that somebody was about to favorite and share this terrible, terrible story.

Elsa and Anna cautiously crept toward the Dining Hall, half hoping that the copy of Anna would not be there.  
"Elsa," Anna took her sister's arm. "How are we going to get rid of this fraud?" Elsa shook her head. "I'm not sure, Anna, but she's so poorly written that she has to have a weakness. Something.." She felt Anna's hand pull away, and peeked into the slightly open doors of the Dining Hall. "Anna... I think she's still in there.. Anna..?" Elsa turned.  
Anna was holding a useless antique sword that she had stolen from a suit of armor.  
"Oh, yes. This will take care of everything, right?! Heh!" She held the heavy sword in a fighting stance, her arms shaking from the weight.  
Elsa's face was solidly amused. "Put that down." She said, her voice strained from trying not to laugh. Anna reluctantly did so, and joined her sister at the doors. Together, they slowly entered the room.

Anna-who's-apparently-always-in-heat was definitely there, her insatiable need for sex still her driving motivation.  
"Ohh, Elsa and Anna..!" she moaned absurdly as she sashayed across the room. "Elsa, I want you inside me... now!"  
Elsa stood tall, refusing to let slut-Anna get the best of her. "This is ridiculous. I demand you leave, and go back to the cave in which you crawled from!" Anna stood beside her sister, trying to exude the same confidence.  
"Yeah, you woman of dubious and questionable virtues! Back to the cave!"

"...really..?" Elsa looked at Anna, who shrugged and giggled nervously. Skank-Anna then began dry humping Elsa's leg. "Anna," Elsa whispered, leaning closer to her sister. "Perhaps.. if we ignore her, her sexual tensions will build, and she will implode. We really haven't any weapons to defeat her.." Anna and Elsa looked down at the mewling trollop at their feet, and nodded in unison. Hoisting her up by her arms, the sisters took the imposter to the dining table, and using the table cloth as a rope, tied her down. Anna cheered silently, while Elsa massaged the bridge of her nose. Then they waited.

An hour later, after no sexual release, the harlot Anna began to implode in a dangerous explosion of bad grammar, plot holes, and a severe misunderstanding of writing perspectives. Her ridiculously written character was no more, and life went back to normal.


End file.
